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Busy Philipps is talking about crying‚ but it’s not what you think. The actress and mom of two, who earlier this summer joined forces with Oui by Yoplait and essie for International Self-Care Day, is explaining to SheKnows how she models self-care for her children, Bridie, age 12, and Cricket, age 8, and it goes back to why she loved being a mom to babies.

“I think that identifying how you’re feeling and identifying emotions and where they’re coming from is, like, one of the most valuable things you can help your kids with,” she says, going on to explain that she found babies easy — once you identified their cries and learned exactly what they need. “And so the trick as your kids get older is to help them figure out their cries so that they can get what they need,” she says. “And then your trick as an adult, in terms of self-care, is to figure out your own cries so that you can get what you need. Are you hungry? Do you need a yogurt snack? Are you frazzled and you need quiet? These things are hard to identify when you just spend your entire time moving forward at the speed of light. So the most valuable thing that I try to help my kids do is, before the moment that it happens, say, ‘What’s happening, what do you feel right now? Can you tell me?”

It’s just one of the helpful parenting lessons the Girls5eva and Freaks and Geeks actress shared with us, and it’s more important now, as our kids begin a new school year, than ever before. From the self-care of having a cute manicure —  “I love painting my nails and I love having my nails done. It’s like one of my favorite things!” she says — to how she communicates with her kids’ teachers and more, check out our conversation!

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