A Redditor recently posed the question: “What makes you immediately lose romantic interest in someone?” In less than 24 hours, the post has gone viral with over 34,000 upvotes and roughly 15,000 comments. Besides being super entertaining, the responses are also instructive when it comes to mastering the DOs and DON’Ts of dating.

The most upvoted comments tended to pertain to one-sided communication: “When you come to them with a problem and they turn it into a conversation about them,” as one user put it. (Hint: If they say, “I had a really bad day today,” your response shouldn’t be, “Mine was awful. My boss got mad at me and then the printer wasn’t working and then…”)

“I’ve been trying to get better at this,” one Redditor admitted. “It was the only way I knew how to relate, but I realise I don’t always need to relate. A solution isn’t always needed… I just need to be supportive of their feelings and listen.” (Interesting how he’s bringing the Reddit conversation back to himself…)

Other communication-based romantic turn-offs included: “When you realise they only listen to reply, not to understand.”

Someone else added, “Talking at you, not with you.”

While it’s not good to always talk about yourself, at the same time, the opposite can be an issue. “When they have seemingly no opinion, no voice,” a user commented. “When every answer is ‘I don’t care’ or ‘I don’t know.’ Like Jesus Christ I’m trying to find out what you like so that we can talk. Gimme something!”

A lack of self-awareness was a consistent theme throughout the entire thread, making it the biggest and most off-putting deal breaker.

One person wrote that they lose romantic interest quickly “when they don’t know the difference between being funny and being obnoxious.”

This article originally appeared on Men’s Health US. 

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